Saw this joke on the Wallace & Gromit Facebook page and had to share it:

Q: Which cheese would you use to hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone!

Groan. Has anyone else got any that are equally as bad?

Q. Did you hear about the boat full of burgundy paint that crashed into a deserted island?
A. The crew was completely marooned!

Bad!!!

Q:what kind of shoes can you make out of bananas

A: Slippers

Q. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A. A Wooly jumper! :L :L :L :L

Q: What do you call cheese that just isnt yours?

A: Nacho Cheese!

.....

*GROAN* these are terrible

this is one i came across while doing a bit of science revision... ready?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Isotope
Isotope who?
isotope you'd know!

What do you call a fish with no eyes.
Fsh

Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted. Hehe

A man walks into a bar. He says "Ouch."

heres a sort of long one...its not meant to be offensive!

So three women commit a crime, and the police are chasing after them, there is a brunette,a redhead and a blonde.
They run into a tavern trying to hide, and each jump in to an individual potatoe sack, the policemen walk in, they kick the first bag which the brunette is in, she shouts out n"Meow meow" so the policemen think she is a cat and move onto the bag with the redhead in it, she shouts "woof woof" so the policemen think she is a dog, then they kick the last bag with the blonde in it, she yells out "POTATOES!".....

I know that joke, it's one of those many "blonde-jokes"!
But the others above are all ver funny althought I have to search a little bit for some words or phrases which are used in these jokes.....but very good ones

Wow, I'm impressed at the level of cheese - although I think blondes might have something to say about your joke, Clay Fighter

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!

Some jokes are the same we tell each other here

Here's a very cheesy one

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

And if you are a beatles fan,you'll get this joke.

What did George Harrison say to his guitar while it gently weeped?
Don't Fret.

haha ct, I get both!!

Q: What do you have when 10 bunnies are marching backwards?

A: A receding hare line.

hahaha!

LOL Fish!

Another blonde joke :
A blonde was sitting in her car listening to the radio, hearing blonde joke after blonde joke after blonde joke. She got so annoyed she stopped the car and pulled into the hard shoulder. She got out of her car and saw, in the middle of a field, another blonde rowing a boat.
She shouted: 'It's people like you that give us blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I'd get out there and give you what for!

Fish - it took a while to understand, but it's quite good
siro6 - not bad, but I don't really like those jokes about a certain group of persons.

I didnt get the Beatles one. But then I dont really know anything about them.

What do you call a one - eyed dinosaur.

DoYouThinkHeSaurus

Hehe. Jamie,yeah you'd have to be a beatles fan to get that joke.

hmmm i got the joke ( and groaned...!) and although not directely a beatles fan you can be a guitar or instrument.
Yeah i suggest staying away from blonde jokes ( or any discriminating jokes at all)
Following on from Purple&brown's Joke:
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No Idea

Hehe Ursrut!

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

Do-you-think-he-saurus - or Dnosaur

LOL! Purple&Brown!!!!

Why did the witch clean her broom?

She wanted a clean sweep! ^_^

Haha, Good one Ursrut!!!

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

Me being a Potter geek decided that we need more Potter jokes! Only 1 so far - Ursrut.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
You Know!
You Know Who?
Yep! Avada Kedevra!

Whats snapes boggart?
A cauldron full of Shampoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cornelius
Cornelius who?
Well, that's politics for you

What do you call a coughing Quidditch commentator?
Weasley (Wheeze-Lee!)

What do you call jewelery that many people and I share?
Rubeus (Ruby-us!)

What do you call a teacher with a bad attitude?
Moody

Who would you call if you wanted to protect your Valentines?
Lockhart (Lock-heart!)

How many Quidditch players does it take to light up a wand?
Six to work their butts off and a Seeker to take the credit.

How many Weasleys does it take to light up a wand?
Seven: Ginny to look upset and do nothing, Ron to sulk about not getting credit for lighting up the last one, Fred and George to try and blow it up, Percy to yell at Fred and George, Charlie to hold it in front of a cranky dragon, and Bill to roll his eyes at all of them.

lol Concon- i get them dispite my complete un-nerdiness and not being a huge fan of HP...
Purple&Brown as i type this i am telling you family the joke... my dad isn't amused ( he's doing it better then queen victoria) my sister a high pitched laugh followed by giggling and my mum just laughing.... what i'm trying to say is BRILLIANT JOKE! bad... but brilliant!

Hehe ursrut, it does stink of cheese
On this thread!!!

LOL concon

Q:What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A:Quit stalking me!

These are awful...

I agree glb, but :
Q. What do you call a monkey with two bananas in his ears?
A. Anything you like, he cant hear you.

VA, did you get that off annoying orange?

Who stole soap from the bathtub?
Robber ducky!

UGH! From icy blue on STS.

oh LOL ajmole... i had to read it twice to get it... rubber...robber, the look similiar But good joke!

What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and I, something smells.

wghtmf - Hehe I remember that one from ages ago back

This one was in an old issue of the Beano:
What's green and has red wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Not a joke but something quite funny I just saw at this website. Have a look at the "site counter"....

UGH!!
I hate it when that happens!!

One guy says to another: My dog has no nose.

Second guy replies: How does he smell?

First guy replies: Terrible!!

Oh no, the poor dog
But a good joke

First guy says did you hear about that chuch fire?
second guy SAYS yeah HOLY SMOKES

There are 10 types of people in the world
Those whop understand binary and those who don't

lol GLB... i think i'm feeling a little nerdy for getting the joke...

bute lyk matiieeee thits lykk onlyyy 2 typieesss of peps

and 10 is 2 in binary. you are obviously the type of person who doesnt understand it

indeed. Or rather
011010010110111001100100011001010110010101100100

i should know binary i do it at school for computing