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WALLACE & GROMIT CHAT » CHEESY JOKES!

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katie Aardman Staff Posted: Apr 7th 2010

Saw this joke on the Wallace & Gromit Facebook page and had to share it:

Q: Which cheese would you use to hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone!

Groan. Has anyone else got any that are equally as bad? ;)


concon Posted: Apr 7th 2010

Q. Did you hear about the boat full of burgundy paint that crashed into a deserted island?
A. The crew was completely marooned!

Bad!!!


iantimothy Posted: Apr 7th 2010

Q:what kind of shoes can you make out of bananas

A: Slippers


Siro6 Posted: Apr 7th 2010

Q. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A. A Wooly jumper! :L :L :L :L


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 7th 2010

Q: What do you call cheese that just isnt yours?

A: Nacho Cheese!

.....


Ursrut Posted: Apr 7th 2010

*GROAN* these are terrible

this is one i came across while doing a bit of science revision... ready?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Isotope
Isotope who?
isotope you'd know!


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 7th 2010

What do you call a fish with no eyes.
Fsh

Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted. :-| Hehe


wghtmf Posted: Apr 7th 2010

A man walks into a bar. He says "Ouch."


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 7th 2010

heres a sort of long one...its not meant to be offensive!

So three women commit a crime, and the police are chasing after them, there is a brunette,a redhead and a blonde.
They run into a tavern trying to hide, and each jump in to an individual potatoe sack, the policemen walk in, they kick the first bag which the brunette is in, she shouts out n"Meow meow" so the policemen think she is a cat and move onto the bag with the redhead in it, she shouts "woof woof" so the policemen think she is a dog, then they kick the last bag with the blonde in it, she yells out "POTATOES!".....


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 8th 2010
;)

I know that joke, it's one of those many "blonde-jokes"!
But the others above are all ver funny althought I have to search a little bit for some words or phrases which are used in these jokes.....but very good ones
:D


katie Aardman Staff Posted: Apr 8th 2010

Wow, I'm impressed at the level of cheese - although I think blondes might have something to say about your joke, Clay Fighter ;)

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 8th 2010
;)

Some jokes are the same we tell each other here


crackingtoast Posted: Apr 8th 2010

Here's a very cheesy one

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

And if you are a beatles fan,you'll get this joke.

What did George Harrison say to his guitar while it gently weeped?
Don't Fret.


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 8th 2010

haha ct, I get both!!


Fish Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Q: What do you have when 10 bunnies are marching backwards?

A: A receding hare line.


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 9th 2010

hahaha!


Ursrut Posted: Apr 9th 2010

LOL Fish!


Siro6 Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Another blonde joke ;) :
A blonde was sitting in her car listening to the radio, hearing blonde joke after blonde joke after blonde joke. She got so annoyed she stopped the car and pulled into the hard shoulder. She got out of her car and saw, in the middle of a field, another blonde rowing a boat.
She shouted: 'It's people like you that give us blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I'd get out there and give you what for!

:D


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Fish - it took a while to understand, but it's quite good ;)
siro6 - not bad, but I don't really like those jokes about a certain group of persons. :)


Jamie Gomersall Posted: Apr 9th 2010

I didnt get the Beatles one. But then I dont really know anything about them.

What do you call a one - eyed dinosaur.

DoYouThinkHeSaurus


crackingtoast Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Hehe. Jamie,yeah you'd have to be a beatles fan to get that joke.


Ursrut Posted: Apr 9th 2010

hmmm i got the joke ( and groaned...!) and although not directely a beatles fan you can be a guitar or instrument.
Yeah i suggest staying away from blonde jokes ( or any discriminating jokes at all);)
Following on from Purple&brown's Joke:
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No Idea


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Hehe Ursrut!

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

Do-you-think-he-saurus - or Dnosaur


Ursrut Posted: Apr 9th 2010

LOL! Purple&Brown!!!!

Why did the witch clean her broom?

She wanted a clean sweep! ^_^


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Haha, Good one Ursrut!!!

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.


concon Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Me being a Potter geek decided that we need more Potter jokes! Only 1 so far - Ursrut.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
You Know!
You Know Who?
Yep! Avada Kedevra!

Whats snapes boggart?
A cauldron full of Shampoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cornelius
Cornelius who?
Well, that's politics for you

What do you call a coughing Quidditch commentator?
Weasley (Wheeze-Lee!)

What do you call jewelery that many people and I share?
Rubeus (Ruby-us!)

What do you call a teacher with a bad attitude?
Moody

Who would you call if you wanted to protect your Valentines?
Lockhart (Lock-heart!)

How many Quidditch players does it take to light up a wand?
Six to work their butts off and a Seeker to take the credit.

How many Weasleys does it take to light up a wand?
Seven: Ginny to look upset and do nothing, Ron to sulk about not getting credit for lighting up the last one, Fred and George to try and blow it up, Percy to yell at Fred and George, Charlie to hold it in front of a cranky dragon, and Bill to roll his eyes at all of them.


Ursrut Posted: Apr 9th 2010

lol Concon- i get them dispite my complete un-nerdiness and not being a huge fan of HP...
Purple&Brown as i type this i am telling you family the joke... my dad isn't amused ( he's doing it better then queen victoria) my sister a high pitched laugh followed by giggling and my mum just laughing.... what i'm trying to say is BRILLIANT JOKE! bad... but brilliant! :O|-)


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 9th 2010

Hehe ursrut, it does stink of cheese
On this thread!!!


wghtmf Posted: Apr 10th 2010

LOL concon


VincentAnimations01 Posted: Apr 10th 2010

Q:What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A:Quit stalking me!
:D


Gromits little bro Posted: Apr 10th 2010

These are awful...


Siro6 Posted: Apr 10th 2010

I agree glb, but :
Q. What do you call a monkey with two bananas in his ears?
A. Anything you like, he cant hear you.


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 10th 2010

VA, did you get that off annoying orange?


ajmole Posted: Apr 10th 2010

Who stole soap from the bathtub?
Robber ducky!

UGH! From icy blue on STS.


Ursrut Posted: Apr 10th 2010

oh LOL ajmole... i had to read it twice to get it... rubber...robber, the look similiar :O But good joke!


wghtmf Posted: Apr 11th 2010

What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and I, something smells.


crackingtoast Posted: Apr 11th 2010

wghtmf - Hehe I remember that one from ages ago back


wghtmf Posted: Apr 12th 2010

This one was in an old issue of the Beano:
What's green and has red wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 12th 2010

Not a joke but something quite funny I just saw at this website. Have a look at the "site counter"....


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 12th 2010

UGH!!
I hate it when that happens!!


wghtmf Posted: Apr 13th 2010
:D

MarkGromit Posted: Apr 13th 2010

One guy says to another: My dog has no nose.

Second guy replies: How does he smell?

First guy replies: Terrible!!

|-)


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 13th 2010

Oh no, the poor dog
But a good joke


mmasonghi studios Posted: Apr 13th 2010

First guy says did you hear about that chuch fire?
second guy SAYS yeah HOLY SMOKES


Gromits little bro Posted: Apr 16th 2010

There are 10 types of people in the world
Those whop understand binary and those who don't


Ursrut Posted: Apr 16th 2010

lol GLB... i think i'm feeling a little nerdy for getting the joke...


concon Posted: Apr 16th 2010

bute lyk matiieeee thits lykk onlyyy 2 typieesss of peps


Siro6 Posted: Apr 16th 2010

and 10 is 2 in binary. you are obviously the type of person who doesnt understand it


Gromits little bro Posted: Apr 16th 2010

indeed. Or rather
011010010110111001100100011001010110010101100100


kldceltic Posted: Apr 16th 2010

i should know binary i do it at school for computing:D:);)




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