Forgot Password?

Register

Back to forum

WALLACE & GROMIT CHAT » CHEESY JOKES!

1 2
Next
Newest
There are 94 messages in total. Showing messages 51 to 94.
Gromits little bro Posted: Apr 16th 2010

Well atually, no-one uses binary to code programmes. They use a programme which converts commands which are in BASIC (Beginners All Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code) which is the converted to binary... geek fest.


Gromit lad Posted: Apr 16th 2010

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a guy driving his car and goes to stop at a light. He hits the breaks at the last second, crashing into the car infront of him. He gets out of the car, to his surprise a dwarf comes out of the one infront of him. The dwarf comes up to the man and says, "Im not happy?" "Then who are you?"


wghtmf Posted: Apr 17th 2010

Similar but...
There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 17th 2010

@GLB: That joke with the "binary" is great :D


Ursrut Posted: Apr 17th 2010

lol "geek fest" 8)

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows :D... not as good as GLB's but yeah


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 17th 2010

Great Joke GLB, took me about 5 mins to work it out LOL!


Gromits little bro Posted: Apr 17th 2010

XD I love a geek joke.. ahhh...
ursrut LOL!
And just on a slight political (UK) front... who else thinks that Vince Cable looks like Steve Ballmer?


I love Bitzer Posted: Apr 17th 2010

Q: What cheese is made backwards?

A: Edam

:D

Out of the new W&G comic for iPhone ;)


wghtmf Posted: Apr 17th 2010

I've heard it already but it's still good :D


Ursrut Posted: Apr 17th 2010

Now that is a Cheese-y joke!

|-):D


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 17th 2010

What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 18th 2010

AWESUM pic mmasonghi studios
ILY toy story!


iantimothy Posted: Apr 18th 2010

my math teacher showed us this picture


crackingtoast Posted: Apr 18th 2010

Haha! That's brilliant!


concon Posted: Apr 18th 2010

LOL.


Ursrut Posted: Apr 18th 2010

LOL! :D|-)


Purple&Brown Posted: Apr 18th 2010

Haha, great pic! ;)


ClashOfTheTitans1981Rocks Posted: Apr 19th 2010

A woman walks onto a bus. After paying her fare, the driver remarked "Urgh! What an ugly baby!". Fuming, the woman walks to that back, sits down and tells the man next to her all about it.
"You should give that driver a piece of your mind!" he replied. "Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you!"


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 20th 2010

hahaha!!


Ursrut Posted: Apr 20th 2010

i've just found out i'm considered an ICT geek at school, as i've just been put in for the Higher Tier in the exam, i'm one of a few people. :D

what do you call a computer hero?

A screen saver


ClashOfTheTitans1981Rocks Posted: Apr 20th 2010

Hahaha!


Clay Fighter Posted: Apr 21st 2010

oh man, that is cheesy!


SockEyeSalmon Posted: Apr 21st 2010

Q: What do you call a man who balances 6 pints of beer on his head and plays pool at the same time?

A: Beatrix Potter!


Grace Elisabeth Posted: Apr 17th 2012

Why do dogs wag their tail?
Because no one will do it for him
  

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?


A: Put it in your back 


EmmyRed18 Posted: Apr 25th 2012

What do you call a sheepdog from Mexico?


A South-of-the-Border Collie!

What do you call a dino from Mexico?

Tyrannosaurus Mex!


LoveShaun19 Posted: Apr 27th 2012

A pastor, a rabbi, and the pope walk into a bar.
 The man behind the counter says, " hey! is this a joke?"


I read this in a magazine once. Tell me if you got it.



LoveShaun19 Posted: Apr 27th 2012

Another " bar" joke. This I stole from " Fozzie Bear".



A guy walks into a bar and there's a horse serving drinks, the horse says
" What's the matter? Surprised to see me here?" and the guy says,
" Yeah, did the cow sell the place?"


LoveShaun19 Posted: Apr 27th 2012

" What has 50 legs but can't walk? 100 pairs of pants!"
Also from Fozzie bear. :)


wallace05man Posted: Apr 27th 2012

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes, legs and is friends with a giraffe?
A: STILL NO EYEDEAR A TALL MATE!!!! 


LoveShaun19 Posted: Apr 28th 2012

OOOh, ouch. I can't decide if that's awful or incredibly funny. :)


EmmyRed18 Posted: Apr 30th 2012

(From a magazine: I thought it was funny, I thought I'd share it. Tell me if you got it!)

A police officer is sitting by the side of a lonely, open road when a little old lady in a convertible zips by him doing a good 95mph. He pulls out from where he's parked and runs down the culprit; she pulls over and waits for him to come to her window.

"Do you know why I pulled you over, ma'am?"

"No."

"NO?!! What do you mean, no? You were driving 50 miles over the speed limit, and you were straddling the middle line between the two lanes the whole time, I might add!"

"But I thought I was supposed to...."

By now, the poor officer is too confused and angry to answer; the little old lady shows him her liscence renewal papers, which she just got from the Moter Vehicle Office that morning. "See here, sonny? It says, right there, 'TEAR ALONG THE DOTTED LINE!'"


LoveShaun19 Posted: Apr 30th 2012

haha. Got it. :)


wallace05man Posted: Apr 30th 2012

Q - Why did the cow go to the shop to buy Aurthur Christmas on dvd when it wasn't even christmas?
A - BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY 50p AND HE THOUGHT HE'D GRAB A BARGAIN!!!!

yes, i know it doesn't make sence 


LoveShaun19 Posted: Apr 30th 2012

" Here is a message for all dog owners. Please remember that a high pitched whistle can be very annoying to your dog....another way to annoy him is to drop him in a bowl of treacle! "


_ Ami Macdonald, from " At last, the 1948 show."


MrTechnoTrousers Posted: May 1st 2012

i don't get it


Gromits little bro Posted: May 1st 2012

To be fair, Fozzie Bear jokes are the greatest. I could sit and watch the muppets all day. LOVE THEM!!!


LoveShaun19 Posted: May 1st 2012

@Mrtechno trousers. The joke is that the start, the announcement sounds like it's telling you how NOT to annoy your dog, but if fact it's giving you advice on how to best annoy him. It's suddenly turns the situation farcical, with a really cheesy joke.


Sorry it was confusing.


MrTechnoTrousers Posted: May 1st 2012

oh i get it now


EmmyRed18 Posted: May 11th 2012

This isn't technically a joke; it's a true story. But it's pretty doggone funny anyhow! :)

In the Vietnam war, an officer and his platoon were on guard duty around their camp one night. It was very quiet and still. All of a sudden, the officer heard a grenade explode, and several guns opening fire. Thinking they were under attack, he dashed over towards the noise, yelling at his men stationed over there. "What's going on? What happened?"

There was instantly a dead silence. And, after a while, a small, frightened, sheepish voice floated out of the darkness. "Big Snake, sir."

(Let me know if you got it!)


LoveShaun19 Posted: May 11th 2012

HAHAHAHA!!!
That is funny. :)


LoveShaun19 Posted: May 19th 2012

 Question: What do you get if you cross a frog with a loony?


Answer: Hopping mad!


Extremely cheesy joke I got of the old programme, "The Goodies"



wandgfanatic Posted: May 19th 2012

What do you call a shoe made from a bananas?
A slipper! 


wandgfanatic Posted: May 19th 2012

Please excuse my English, my iPad has predictive text. urgh!


wandgfanatic Posted: May 19th 2012

Sorry iantimothy i had the same joke as you!  Here is another one, and I think it is even worse than the last one.
What do a tree and a dog have in common?
A bark!
*sigh* 




The forums are now closed. For all the latest Wallace & Gromit activity and discussion visit the news section of the website


Are you sure you wish to hide this message? You will not be able to read it again.

Are you sure you wish to report this message to our Moderation Team?
You will not be able to read it again.

Ay up chuck! We use cookies to ensure you get a top-notch experience on our website. To find out more view our privacy policy.